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Re: Triggering- my Pain is impossible to live in

Posted by kerria on August 2, 2005, at 11:11:03

In reply to Re: Triggering- my Pain is impossible to live in kerria, posted by Tamar on July 31, 2005, at 16:16:20

Thank you (((JenStar))), (((Cricket))), (((ShortE))), (((EE))), (((Muffled))),(((Ghost))) and (((Tamar))). i can't thank you enough for being there and caring to write and help. i'm having an impossibly hard time. It's too hard to sit down and i can't wear jeans at all anymore. The pain is the worst i ever had and it's constant - even with the medicine that the dr gave to get off the oxycontin that worked.

tears, if i don't find someone who can help me- diagnose and treat my pain i don't know how i can ever manage to live with it. i can't do anything drive, go to work, see T anything and i'm in so negative a mood because it hurts so much.

It's hard to think about doing anything like eating or talking to PDr - i did anyways and he doesn't understand - he says ambiguous things. i thought that he knew the truth about it but sounded surprised when i said that i can't stop going to drs to diagnose my pain because there's no way to endure it.
This pain is making my PTSD so worse. It's so horrible to have this pain- i'm being tortured by it and no one believes me. i wish that my PDr would think of that. It's making my DID better- in a way. i'm not switching so much because the pain is so severe. It would be horrific for little ones to feel the severity of it. No one can stand it but they would totally fall apart. i do totally fall apart sometimes. Maybe i am switching.
i fell apart after seeing the gyn yesterday, could hardly walk to the car because of crying so hard from the pain after the exam. It was weird- i can feel it intensly and still talk to the receptionist afterwards and take my receipt, but as soon as i left the switching happened and i expressed the feeling of being in the pain that i was in. Do you think that that makes me a hard person to believe? Maybe the drs are seeing that i can 'handle' the pain at times and then other times that i can't. They might think that it's not as bad but it is. i just have an ability to switch to another person that is able to do other things for a few minutes. We still all feel the constant severe pain of the body though.

Muffled, i'm praying and went up for prayer and to be annointed with oil at my church for the pain. Somehow i need an answer soon- it's so difficult- God knows how difficult it is to bear.
i can't even wear regular clothes now that i'm on the weaker medicine.

Tamar- what kind of Dr diagnosed your friend's pain that was called something like "Pelvic venous congestion? When i looked up a search on that i found that i have a lot of the conditions to cause that- four babies and i have a small frame- also i did backpacking and a lot heavy lifting at work. The pain is so severe though- it's not just an aching.
Maybe i can find a dr to look at that dx as a cause of the pain. The dr yesterday wrote that i had "vulvadynia" and referred me to a gyn oncologist but after the painful exam said he couldn't see any obvious things wrong and asked me if i had PTSD or depression/anxiety.
It's so frustrating that no one will look into finding the physical cause for my pain more completely.

Thank you for listening,
kerria


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poster:kerria thread:535135
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