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Re: Is it genuine? Or even okay?

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on August 1, 2005, at 8:52:54

In reply to Is it genuine? Or even okay?, posted by molly_a on August 1, 2005, at 1:47:40

Hi Molly,

First off, let me compliment you on your eloquence and ability to express yourself so clearly, as well as your objectivity. Honestly, simply because you are able to question a situation which may feel good to you now, but may be detrimental in the long run, shows a lot of maturity and intelligence.

That said, I agree with everyone else on this question. In my opinion, your T holding your hand, telling you he wishes you were his child, even expressing his love, indicates huge red flags all over the place. And to be honest, and this is my own double standard, I don't think I would be quite so alarmed if your T were a woman. At least I wouldn't be alarmed by the hand holding or expressions of love. It seems a lot of people here with female Ts have a more open relationship with them, feminine nature I suppose.

But, as was mentioned before, you are not a child. The touching in my opinion is highly inappropriate and unprofessional between opposite sex T and client. The singling you out as well as his favorite or extraordinary or that he wishes you were his is also extremely inappropriate. And the love declarations? While I know it feels good to know your T loves you, I really don't think it's appropriate that he express this (again just my opinion, others I'm sure will disagree).

I worry about his motives with all of this. Do you feel as if the touching is progressing? Do you get wierd vibes from him? I think you are since you have been brave enough to ask all of us. If something doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't. One thing people have learned to do is no longer trust their instincts, no longer trust their intuition. Your intuition is a powerful tool which should not be ignored. So, even though this all feels good to you now, I think your intuition is trying to tell you something.




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