Posted by Dinah on July 29, 2005, at 11:42:45
I had called yesterday to leave him a message that I wasn't going to be angry today so if he felt defensive going in, he didn't need to.
He thought that was funny and teased me all session about it.
He also said it's possible that he feels stressed before a trip, and that that's the reason we tend to have a big fight right before he goes, no matter how careful I try to be. Which was nice of him.
I did end up telling him that I loved him as a person, as well as as my therapist mommy. And he didn't make it into anything icky. I told him I worried about telling him, even though he likely already knew, because it felt intrusive. He said if someone was going to be intrusive, letting someone know that you care for or love them was among the nicer ways.
I talked about that thing I do in therapy. He thinks the energy we've created over the years is what makes that state possible.
And since we still had forty minutes left (slowest session I ever had), we talked about Ms. Lott coming. I said that I thought we had kept pretty good boundaries, and he said that was most likely why we had kept a good relationship for ten years. And I told him that although we clients knew that, it didn't feel so good to hear, because it felt like the therapist was warding us off using the boundaries like a cross to a vampire. He didn't actually deny it, but he said that if a therapist ever had to use the boundaries that way, he had let them get sloppy to begin with. And he said that he never felt like he needed to use the boundaries to ward me off because I had pretty good boundaries myself. I still think talk of boundaries makes me feel a bit... Oh, I don't know. Like the bottomless pit of need I am?
He says I can feel sad or angry with him while he's gone if I like. And he closed by saying that as always I could call him if I needed him. Some imp of mischief led me to ask if I could call if I just wanted to (I guess because of all that talk about boundaries). I got a bit of amusement out of the flicker of fear in his eyes while he hesitated before saying yes. And laughed and told him that of course I wouldn't. And he laughed and said that he knew that, so he felt free to say yes. I mentioned the flicker of fear. :) To his credit, he didn't deny it.
It was a good session. Laid back and relaxing the way I like it. But not really superficial.
poster:Dinah
thread:535275
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/535275.html