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Re: Can someone Re-Direct?

Posted by Jadah on July 27, 2005, at 20:27:14

In reply to Can someone Re-Direct?, posted by Susan47 on July 22, 2005, at 20:07:48

susan, im sorry you feel i dont answer your ?'s. I'll try if your patient enough to ask again. Not doing it on purpose. Yes, it is heart wrenching. I used to say that fantasies are always better than the real thing, but the longer I am with my T the more I disagree (with myself, hee, hee) My relationship is more than I could have ever imagined. It is so fullfiling. Everything that you all have talked about wanting... He has made me a new person. Shown me love in a way I never imagined even existed. Even the way he touches me, makes love to me... it is so safe, I really feel cared for and loved. He took everything that I once thought bad about men (b/c of my abuse issues) and made it "clean". It is b/c of what he has taught/shown me that I am even able to have a relationship with my boyfriend. Before rich, I was unable to sustain any kind of meaningful committment or touch. I do care about rich. It has only been 4months, a the longest healthy relationship Ive ever been in. My feelings for him are confusing. Although I care about him deeply, I cannot fully giive my heart to him b/c my T has it. My T has said the very same thing about his relationship with me and his wife. Like me, he loves us both. I do feel guilty about him having a wife. She treats him like dirt. He gets his needs met elsewhere. I give him what he gives me- we both get our needs met. He has talked about leaving her but he is concered about the kids. Neither of us has ever tried to justify what we are doing in light of the other people in our lives. I am scared, as we have talked about ending the affair and just being "friends". I dont think we could carry on as just "friends" that is why when we have the "this cant go on forever talk", I crumble. I cower with fear and wonder if I could make it without him- after all, he made me who I am (with my hard work too). I dont wish this pain and confusion on anyone. I have contacted another potential T to help me work through the detachment to him (he doesnt know this). My first step toward healing however, I fear not being able to be completely honest about my situation b/c I am afraid they will try to report him (even if I dont use his real name, Im afraid they will figure out who he is). I dont know if I answered any of your ?'s. Please ask and I will do my best. Good to hear from you.




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