Posted by 64bowtie on July 26, 2005, at 11:46:50
In reply to Re: What goes through a child abuser mind » 64bowtie, posted by happyflower on July 24, 2005, at 7:08:50
> Thank you Rod for answering my what I thought was a "unanswerable" question. I am not sure if you mean by "conflict", you mean something inside her head, or something I was doing to cause conflict. >
>
<<< I need to thank you for connecting... Please consider that by tomorrow's standards, none of this will be your problem...We all average about 20 conflicts in our daily lives, most are incipiant at best... When one of the folks involved gets impatient, they up the ante by going 'postal' and somebody gets hurt by their violence... Your question about 'in her head' implies thought... You are probably ignoring feelings, behaviors and intentions... So if you watch and listen, the perpetrator will always let you know what they feel, how they are behaving (or not) and what their intentions are...
In order to protect yourself from these punks, PERCEIVE MORE AND BELIEVE LESS!!! Your knowledge of what's going on in real time will save you, eventually!!!
The story you relate may be about the past, however, you can share these principles with your children so they can protect themselves from jerks they get confronted by in their lives... They also can discover better and better conflict resolution techniques that will serve them in their futures... Mostly, bad conflict resolution strategies are only a result of a collection of bad habits I call dysfunction... Eliminate the bad habits, you release extra time for studying your life for the sake of better solutions...
...and you are only 35-36, you got lotsa time for getting good at this stuff, toooo!!!
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:532294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/533726.html