Posted by Jazzed on July 6, 2005, at 21:25:33
In reply to No blasting here » Jazzed, posted by Tamar on July 6, 2005, at 17:06:12
Thanks Tamar, you made me feel a lot better. I agree, phone calls shouldn't be taken unless it's an emergency. I can see if someone is sick, has a broken down car, and I'm probably more lenient than most, but those are the kinds of things I call my husband for during work, but only if I NEED him.
When I went back to him after that first appt. I was intruigued by someone who pushed my buttons, made me think SO much about what he said, and eventually come to admit he was probably right about a lot of the things he said. I didn't want someone who was going to be soft on me. I wanted someone who was going to really push me. Someone who I would like, but not be afraid to get mad at or raise issues with. I have never had that in any of the men in my life. My husband is loving and supportive, but he doesn't push me at all. My father was verbally and emotionally abusive. I could never raise any issues with him because I was always wrong no matter what, and he would scream me down, and make me feel worthless.
The T did talk about making a connection, and I want that, but I agree with you about trust, and part of that is trusting that he will be fully present for me during sessions.
Sometimes I'm a good judge of character. Sometimes I'm the last to "get it" when someone is bad. Most of the time I'm pretty cautious with people I don't know, but other times, when I want to trust, I can be a pretty lousy judge of character I guess. My dad's wife had him out of his bank acct., and into the "home" before I admitted to myself that she was bad.I had to go see my son's T tonight, so I dropped my T a note and told him that I left having mixed feelings about our appt. last night. I told him that I was hurt that he took a phone call when we were into really important stuff. I'm mad that the staff even has the okay to knock on his door during a session! But maybe that's his policy, I don't know. I told him I didn't feel like he was getting to know me any better. I gave him an out in case I'm too much bother for him. And that's fine, but tell me now before I get attached! I did ask him to call me, so we will see. I'm supposed to have an appt. next Wed., but you can be sure that if he doesn't call, I'll cancel, have a good cry, and get over it.
I do want to work through it, or at least try. I have had a terrible time in my life with people who I find difficult. I realize that some of it is me not just them, and I need to learn more effective ways of confronting issues w/o getting overly emotional or mad. On the other hand if I have to get all anxious and upset after stuff like this, then I don't know if it's worth it. I don't know if he'll respond to me or not, we'll see.
I love my son's T. She's very warm and very insightful, but I don't like to work with women. I never form any attachment at all, and I can take it or leave it. I also have never been able to tackle the issues from my past with a woman. I just feel like I would be judged. She is an older woman, I know I wouldn't be comfy discussing some of my stuff with her, and since she works with my kids, I would feel more under the gun as a mom. She is seeing me every several weeks and we do talk about things I can do to be a more effective mom, and to feel okay about the way I'm am - high strung, tightly wound, critical, whatever. She gave me a new take on it, and for that I gotta love her! ; )
Thanks for your support Tamar, I really do appreciate it, even if I find out that I have made a mistake. I know probably everyone is right, but sometimes I have to learn things the hard way.
Jazzy
poster:Jazzed
thread:524072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/524409.html