Posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2005, at 21:27:02
In reply to Re: T called » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:21:43
I'm glad he called. I think it does show that he cared. And his saying that he wishes you had stayed and talked about it, even talked about feeling like he's nasty...well, I can see how that did sound punitive. And I also think he really does wish you two could have talked about it. My guess is that he's not aware of how painful this is for you, and perhaps he defends against this aspect of your feelings by being more parental?
It could also be that you are projecting some. Heck, who wouldn't at termination? It's a time when clients can regress a bit, out of the pain and anxiety associated with it. Most T's recognize that, and some even prepare you for it. Perhaps he's not viewing it clearly and objectively because he cares for you and wants to make sure you really are ready to go.
Somebody said 10-15 sessions for termination. I would say that for someone who has gone to the same therapist for 7 years, that would be an absolute MINIMUM! Some theories would hold that for very long term therapies, termination is another year's worth, in and of itself. It's THAT important!
I'm glad you heard from him. It's hard when they put all the feelings on you or call it irrational or tranference or projection. That really doesn't lessen the intensity of what you are feeling, and it doesn't first validate those feelings.
And I like the word *sshole, too. I say it in a certain way, and that's the way I read you saying it. With gusto!
((((shortelise))))
Take care, honey. It will get easier in time. I promise.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:513787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/516282.html