Posted by pinkeye on June 5, 2005, at 12:09:31
In reply to Re: Trying to make peace and let go, posted by happyflower on June 4, 2005, at 15:09:00
Thanks HappyFlower. I think that makes the most sense to do right now.
And my husband is a genuinely good person. I wouldn't want to only be half hearted way with him. I did that for the last 4 years, but now maybe I should really try to be full with him.
As far as my exT goes - I think I would never want to be with him or have an affair even if he says he likes me. If he likes me, I would be very happy and I think I would heal tons more, but I wouldn't want to have an affair or try to break his marriage or anything like that. And I think I really don't give that much importance to physical presence .. emotions matter more to me. It is only when I think he didn't like me that hurts the most - not that I cannot see him or be with him. I am fine with not seeing him again at all. Occasional emails and warm relationship would be just perfect.
In a funny way, that I myself don't understand, I actually feel very protective towards his wife - for some reason.(she has had some traumatic experiences in her life). I wouldn't want to break him away from her. I would not be able to live with myself.
And besides, I don't really think that we would have been perfect together - it might have been more or less the same as my current marriage - maybe somewhat better.
I think my ex T and I are very much alike in many ways.. but not necessarily good for each other kind - maybe we are too identical in some ways. (It could be my projection). He would be exactly me minus the emotional difficulties. I even suspect he had lots of emotional struggles himself. And he learnt how to keep himself happy and cheerful. I don't think he is a born happy person. I think he is very much like me - very emotional and highly sensitive, tries to be good and do good to others and be useful, tries to understand things and people, tries to learn. But I think he is not a very blissful person either. Some people are just happy no matter what - I don't think he is one of them. I am highly sure that he had atleat a mild troubling childhood and even adulthood. Somehow I just sense it. I might be completely wrong though.
poster:pinkeye
thread:507378
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/507950.html