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And I am going to take care of myself really well pinkeye

Posted by pinkeye on May 24, 2005, at 15:10:22

In reply to Emotional nurturing of ourselves, posted by pinkeye on May 24, 2005, at 15:00:18

Atleast hereafter.. I am going to take care of myself so very well. Instead of expecting my dad or my ex T or my husband to make me happy. I mean, if my dad - in spite of all that abuse he did to me and my mom, can be happy - why should I not?

I think my dad kind of tried to force me to be happy - he would never let me cry or be weak or sentimental or emotional. I think he tried to force it down my throat to be strong and powerful and intelligent and happy.. And I ended up pretending exactly like that, whereas I really was very weak and emotional and scared and didn't even want to be happy because it was so impossible in that circumstance. and I think I developed even an aversion to being happy - because I was forced to pretend like I am happy. Maybe now I need not continue to do that.

But now I am free of my dad, and I am an adult, maybe I can try a little bit to be emotionally happy myself.

Just talking to myself - as usual:-)




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