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Well, as somewhat of an expert.... » messadivoce

Posted by 10derHeart on May 21, 2005, at 12:29:38

In reply to Raise your hand if you hate moving, posted by messadivoce on May 20, 2005, at 2:48:11

...I do understand. I guess I grew to accept it, so there wasn't much room for hating it left in me. Too busy, too much responsibility.

Being a retired military person, I moved 10 times in 26 years. In fact, the longest after high school I ever lived anywhere was 4 years, and that seemed tooo long. This Oct will be 4 years where I am now, and I feel restless and odd even now, though I've grown to love where I live.

I think for me, as for lots of military folks I've asked over the years, it's a mixed blessing. It's exciting and you just learn so much about yourself, about how to handle ANYTHING (I moved 6/10 times as a single parent), and then about all the places you end up living in.

Of course, the flip side is the loss. Loss and goodbye. Leaving and tears. Nothing is permanent fron day 1. This leads to both holding back for some, and incredibly close bonds for others.

I'm in the latter group. Get close, really quickly, and stay in touch with some of those who were most special - for years. It is hard, though. Now, through therapy, I'm beginning to sort out, for me, how all that regular moving might fit in to my abandonment stuff that started at least at 19 when my mom died, if not earlier.

I think I was both better able to withstand and adapt to the emotional toll it took, AND I was deeply wounded each time. If it makes any sense that I could be both ways simultaneously. Hated being left, and hated leaving people you'd had such wonderful relationships with.

Enough of that for now....Voce, as to some of your other comments, yes, transitions of any kind leave us more open for confusions, hurts and old stuff to bubble up, I think. Even just in a practical way, routines change (eg, no more classes) and bam! too much time to think, too much change, too much stress = rumination.

You'll be alright (or better at least) once a new routine is set up, I'll bet. And of course, one of your important constants can be Babble! :-)

 

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