Posted by pinkeye on May 6, 2005, at 19:02:17
In reply to Re: Pinkeye? (very long) » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on May 6, 2005, at 18:45:55
Oh I see. So maybe your mother had real problems too. Maybe then in your case it was more of an equal problem between both your parents. That must have been hard to digest..
I feel sorry for you.. I know your dad has passed away, and I wish he was alive now so you can try to get some apology from him. Maybe you should try to get it from your mom.
I have gotten apology from my dad about lot of stuff 2 - 3 years back. That has helped me immensely in forgiving him. I haven't talked to him about making me like a surrogate wife (a term my new T came up with - I don't like it one bit). I haven't talked to him about being excessively physically close to me and emotionally making me like his companion. But the rest of the stuff, I have gotten apology from my dad. So that makes it so much easier to forgive and heal. I wish you had gotten that from your dad.
Anyway, all said and done, I really don't have any bitterness towards my parents. Not even a little bit. Even all this venting out, I am doing it because my new T wants me to do it. Otherwise, I wouldn't even be doing it. I realize that both of them - given whatever mistakes they did, at the end of the day had been very good persons at heart. They both meant well, and love me and cherish me. And they mean the world to me, really. I don't have anyone else after them.. no brothers, sisters. I am close to couple of my cousins, and I have my husband, but nobody to claim fully mine beyond them. And I really don't have any anger.. maybe I have bottled it up inside me, but I feel that is ok. It can stay inside me, and hurt me, but I am not going to take it out on my father. I don't have anyone else.
poster:pinkeye
thread:494198
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/494671.html