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Re: I wish things weren't so hard » Pfinstegg

Posted by Daisym on May 1, 2005, at 14:38:51

In reply to Re: I wish things weren't so hard » daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on May 1, 2005, at 1:48:03

Not the first time I've been afraid to go to therapy, it is just really, really strong this time. I can hear my therapist in my head, "are you afraid of ME or of the pain you allow yourself to feel when you are with me?" I'm forever telling him these days that he should just leave the door unlocked and I could sit on the couch and do therapy alone. I hear him clearly enough.

He makes it safe to feel the pain and he makes room for the resentment and the overwhelm. He doesn't ask me to be strong. I think I want to push against something, fight back, and yet I don't want to make him the target of these negative feelings. So avoiding seems like a good idea.

And you are absolutely right. There are pieces and parts that are still hugely distrustful. I don't want to comfort that part. I want her to go back into hiding.

 

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