Posted by fallsfall on April 26, 2005, at 10:56:27
In reply to Re: Why have I become triggery lately?, posted by partlycloudy on April 26, 2005, at 9:09:37
> Thanks! I already know why I am not comfortable being assertive - because I am terrified of conflict;
Being assertive does not necessarily lead to conflict. Being assertive just makes sure that your interests are considered as well as the other person's.
And conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. You can learn to manage conflict so you can use it to your advantage. I'm guessing that in your past conflict was dangerous. But it may not still be dangerous today...
> terrified that I'll be found out to be a know-nothing poseur;
Not likely, from what I've seen of you! But I know the feeling...
>to be quiet and subservient means that I can stay hidden and (safe) (don't cause waves) (must'nt complain or cry, nobody wants to see a sour puss).
> My mom raised me this way.
The world today is probably different from what your world was like when you were growing up. She taught you to survive in the world you grew up in. Maybe those guidelines don't work so well today.