Posted by shrinking violet on April 21, 2005, at 14:13:47
I realize I recently posted that I didn't feel "safe" enough to post here, for outside reasons.....I realize it doesn't really matter anymore, so here I am.
Also, I apologize for not responding to posts as much as I'd like....I do read them....I'm going to try to set some time aside later on and respond to some threads, though.
For now....I feel compelled to post about my nutritionist (ok, not my T, but close enough maybe).....I had an appt with her this afternoon. I left work at the library, walked over to the building and waited. I was about ten mins. early, and she wasn't in her office, but I figured she was off making copies down the hall or something, and she'd be back.
Surely, she knew she had an appt.....
....I waited. Granted, not long, about ten minutes after my appt time. But my head kept screaming that she was busy, that I was just going to waste her time anyway since I have no interest in eating right now and always ignore what she suggests anyway. I thought whatever she was doing was more constructive than meeting with me.
It did occur to me that she forgot about me. That she wasn't aware she had an appt. with me (although it was the same time as last week and on the same day for a while now). But I was hoping I was being paranoid, or too negative (as I tend to be).
But, going back to not wanting to waste her time and figure she could use my time to get some of her own stuff done, I got up and left. I was mildly angry, hurt, dejected, and as I walked to my car I wondered WHY WHY WHY am I so damned forgettable?
Then I saw her....
I was pulling out of the parking lot, and she was walking (very liesurely) with two other students.
So she DID forget about me after all.
She hasn't emailed, or called either.
I'm as unnoticeable as an amoeba is to the naked eye...
....why? why is that?
A large eraser could drop from the sky and erase my existence, and no one would notice. The world keeps turning, as they say.....
....and I didn't think I could feel worse than I've been feeling.....
...I was wrong...
:-(
poster:shrinking violet
thread:487505
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/487505.html