Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
My internist thinks I probably have diverticulitis. That's what those pains and nausea I've been having are about. She put me on antibiotics and gave me the name of a gastroenterologist because she says I need to have a colonoscopy.
My mind blanked when she said that word. I tried to mutter something about not needing one, but she didn't really say anything. I've had to call her office three times because I blanked out so much I couldn't recall how I was supposed to use the samples she gave me. Whether I was supposed to be on the antibiotics for a while before calling the other doctor. Whether I had told her about stopping the Depakote temporarily for work and if I still needed a Depakote level.
I obediently called and made an appointment, but now I'm frankly panicking and it surprises me. I don't like gyn exams or mammograms but I do them without undue distress. I'm not going to do this. There is no way on God's green earth that they are going to get me to do a colonoscopy. No.
So if I'm sure of that, why am I panicking. And why is my blasted therapist out of town. Although admittedly I don't want to talk too much about my colon. And I'm too upset with him to want to talk to him about my colon.
Breathe in and out.
Good grief! Why is this freaking me out so much?