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Re: I told him and I'm sorry. Triggery I guess -sexual

Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 10:44:31

In reply to Re: I told him and I'm sorry. Triggery I guess -sexual gardenergirl, posted by annierose on April 19, 2005, at 6:22:27

Actually, I'm thinking about it. All together. There was the tenth anniversary and I brought him a gift for the first time. He might be tying that into the desire to take care of him.

It shouldn't be. I've been thinking about the tenth anniversary gift since at least the ninth anniversary, maybe the eighth.

And the symbolism of that gift was anything but sexual. Everything was mother/child or pup/nursing mother. And I don't know about anyone but me of course, but as a female I don't find the milky breast much of a turn on in a man.

You know, he's sort of funny as a therapist. Many times he's so careful before he speaks that I long for him to talk a bit more spontaneously. But other times he reacts very defensively and without thinking at all.

I imagine he'll have pulled himself together by next time. I can't imagine he won't have.

But I think it's going to take a very long time if ever for the fact that he put me and sex together for even the briefest time, and even in a negative sense. It is just so inappropriate given the nature of our relationship and my feelings for him. I don't think I'd have been much more upset if it had been my legal parents doing that, because he's my emotional parent every bit as much as they were, if not more.

 

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