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Re: I told him and I'm sorry. Triggery I guess -sexual » Dinah

Posted by Tamar on April 18, 2005, at 4:29:44

In reply to I told him and I'm sorry. Triggery I guess -sexual, posted by Dinah on April 16, 2005, at 18:13:13

My two cents – surely if you have developed feelings toward him that depart from your usual view of him as your therapist/mommy, he should view it as a therapeutic opportunity? And if he suspects there’s a sexual element to it (even if there isn’t), shouldn’t he explore that possibility gently and sensitively, especially in view of your sexual circumstances?

I’m very surprised that his first reaction was to talk about clients who have sex with their therapists (rather than clients who desire their therapists sexually). Now, it seems to me you are one of the least likely people in the whole world to have sex with your therapist, which begs the question: why would that be the first thing he thought of? Maybe that’s what his conference or training thing is about... something to do with professional ethics?

No wonder he made you feel icky. Maybe he’s afraid you find him icky and feels hurt by it? I’m sure you’re right – he’s countertransferring all over you. If you can bear to call him on it, he’ll have to explore his own feelings, though it sounds as if he’s firmly in denial at the moment.

I hope it gets easier to deal with after his time away.





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