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Re: I tried. Dinah Pfinstegg

Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2005, at 10:05:45

In reply to Re: I tried. Dinah, posted by Pfinstegg on April 8, 2005, at 23:52:08

To be honest, he's not really great at keeping himself outside the room. He's not classically trained, and a lot of what he does is CBT. When he's tired or stressed or anxious or happy it leaks into the therapy room. It's exactly like when any other person is tired or stressed or anxious or happy.

It used to be a huge mystery to me, and it echoed my relationship with some others in my life. His reactions to things seemed to have absolutely no consistency. How he responded to an event in our relationship would be different one time than another, and it seemed to have nothing to do with me. Which made it difficult to sort out how much the reaction really did have to do with me.

Now he discloses a lot more. I'll ask at the beginning of each session how he's doing, and if there's something that is relatively big, he'll give me a brief description. Most of the time, he'll just say he's fine. I figure he knows he's not a blank slate to me and it's better for him to own up to what might be leaking in.

I like that better. It may not be "good" therapy, but I like it better.

I think the difference is that a few months ago, I might have been more open about challenging him openly to put his stuff aside, and now I'm doing more what I did as a kid. Cajoling and indirectly encouraging him into a better mood.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:478473
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