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Re: Why can't I apply it to myself? SLS

Posted by Racer on April 3, 2005, at 14:52:15

In reply to Re: Why can't I apply it to myself?, posted by SLS on April 2, 2005, at 19:37:52

> Hi Racer.
> How does assigning responsibility to the irresponsible make things any better?
> Isn't it easier to accept the event as it happened and know that it was not your fault?

Ha! The problem, my darling Scotters, is that I still think it was *my* fault! Every time I try to say that it wasn't my fault, that ugly voice comes up in my head pointing out all the things I "should" have done to avoid having this happen. The bottom line, of course, is that I'm somehow fundamentally wrong and therefore it was my fault.

That's a very common theme for me, by the way. That whatever it is was and is and ever will be my fault. (Real sorry about the tsunami, guys... Don't know what got into me.) I guess what I was hoping for in this post wasn't to shift the "blame" onto the other people involved, so much as finding a way to shift it *off* myself. Does that make sense?

> What happens in those instances where no one person or group of people have been assigned the role of protector or nuturer?
> I'm trying to ask a question, but I don't know how to ask it.

I can kind of feel or sense what you're getting at, I think, but I'm not sure how to answer it.

One difficulty I have, though, with what has come through is that as soon as I hear the part about no one being assigned the role of protector, I immediately do the self-blame dance, where I failed to protect myself. Again, that's what I gotta learn to get away from...

> I really like the suggestion of looking at the photo.
> - Scott

I like the suggestion of a photo, too. Gotta go find one. I think the only pictures I have of myself at that age, though, show me on a horse and don't show a lot of me, so much as my equitation... I'm gonna raid my mother's photos, though, next time I go over there...




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