Posted by Tamar on March 15, 2005, at 17:47:32
In reply to so what's this all about? (long a trigger ), posted by mair on March 15, 2005, at 17:14:48
I used to have solitaire days at work too, but then I discovered Free Cell :)
Have you tried writing down your thoughts in between sessions? When I was quite depressed I would think about all my anxieties in a kind of list and I felt like I couldn't keep it all in my head. So I started writing things down and then they were safety recorded and I could think about things one at a time. It also helped in the session because I had organised my thoughts a little, and I felt I was able to pick one or two things and explore them with my T.
I also define myself by my work performance and I'm deeply ashamed whenever I underperform. I'm trying to accept that my depression is like any other illness and inevitably takes its toll on my performance. But it's hard.
It's interesting that your T chose to call you just when you're thinking you're not making enough progress and questioning the point of continuing in therapy. Do you think she might have picked up on your feelings, even though you didn't mention the S word? It seems to me as if she's concerned for you and wants to help. Have you talked to her about your sense of shame at being depressed? (Did I understand you correctly- do you feel ashamed because of your illness?)
If you are having thoughts that scare or worry you, it might be an idea to call the number she gave you.
Please take care of yourself.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:471416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471430.html