Posted by Shortelise on March 1, 2005, at 14:18:52
In reply to Re: Needing comfort » Shortelise, posted by Aphrodite on March 1, 2005, at 13:54:22
Thanks Aphrodite.
Yes, it is a sort of comfort to think of suicide. My mother taught me that.I remember her saying that when she was feeling bad she would think about how she could kill herself if things didn't get better. She normalized it for me. Thanks Mom. I just HATE this.
I feel responsible that my T doesn't get me, doesn't understand how I am feeling. It's my fault, I am just too stupid to have evolved as I should have up until now, or I would be able to say the things I need to say.
And I feel so sad that we are supposed to be terminating, and I am still so bloody nuts. I feel so sorry for myself. It's like, ok, here I am after this many years of therapy, I am seeing my T once every two weeks with the expectation that I will see him even less frequently as soon as I feel it would be ok, and I'm this pathetic mess. It's not about termination, I am not worrying about that because I know it won't happen until I am ready. I just feel awful and want to feel better, think I should feel better, but I don't.
Double argh.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:464935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/464966.html