Posted by Frida on February 17, 2005, at 15:35:56
In reply to Re: very confused about my T session today-lost » Frida, posted by Aphrodite on February 17, 2005, at 15:03:35
Hi, and thank you so much for your reply. I am feeling a little better.
I see her again next week.
Yes I do feel sad and confused that she may believe that, because it makes me feel afraid that she doesn't know what I truly feel, when I've made that clear.. :-( and also, I feel afraid that she might stop doing things that were so helpful to me, because she might decide that she has to be careful with me if she thinks I can be in love..
She had been doing things which truly helped me feel connected to her in between sessions, and if she were to take that away I would feel very lost.
I'm writing a letter to her, but I find it hard to tell her my feelings too, because it leaves me too vulnerable, if I say that I've always thought about her as someone who could hold me after my dad hurt me and give me relief from that..and that I did crave for that kind of caring from her, as if she could somehow take away that hurt from all the moments when there was no one. Maybe I should admit that to her but it all feels a bit difficult and uncomfortable.
I guess I'll send her an email. Waiting till thursday feels like a long wait..
Thank you for understanding and for replying to me.