Posted by partlycloudy on February 17, 2005, at 7:19:43
In reply to Emotional Abandonment, posted by daisym on February 17, 2005, at 0:45:03
This has been the topic of my last few appointments with my therapist. I was dealing with some sad and upsetting family news, and in the midst of it my therapist had messed up a few appointments (I showed up one day and she wasn't there; she called me another day thinking I was scheduled, and I wasn't; and a third time when she said an appointment we had set up not only wasn't on her calendar, but that she was taking a personal day and wouldn't be able to see me. I completely spazzed out, and when we next talked, I realized that it was my issues of abandonment that was making the situation so intolerable.)
So I clearly have to work on how I react to situations where I perceive I'm being abandoned. Although my background does not have instances of csa, my dad was a mostly-absent alcoholic, and my mom was-is-will always be - emotionally unreachable for all 4 kids. No favourites - she dismisses us each equally.
Now my therapist and I have been talking about how to move on from my relationship with her. For years I have had hopes for closeness for us, but she really isn't capable of it. So I am learning that these things aren't my fault, which I understand intellectually, but still react quite strongly to. A big part seems to be the negative tape loop that plays in my head about feeling undeserving of love and committment. I am trying to rewrite that script.