Posted by messadivoce on February 17, 2005, at 1:31:56
In reply to Emotional Abandonment, posted by daisym on February 17, 2005, at 0:45:03
Daisy, I am living this abandonment nightmare right now. I think it's so interesting that you would post about this now, b/c abandonment has been a major theme in my therapy, and now that my T is being forced to terminate, all those feelings are coming back, with a vengance.
I wish I could give you some sort of solid answer about how I am coping with this. The truth is, I still feel shaken to my very core. I don't want to scare you or cause you to fear fearful in your own therapy relationship. But I have discovered that in life, things can break apart any minute and crumble to pieces. You sometimes can't tell when the storm is coming or when everything will fall apart. You just do the best you can, you pick up the pieces, and you try and reconstruct your life.
More specifically, regarding my old T, I guess I dealt with my fears of his abandoning me by indulging the little girl inside...I often expressed how I wanted to be close to him, and he was so accepting of that. We were so very close in that little room. When I came and sat down, he was my whole world. Now I can kind of go back to that place and conjure up his voice. I know that even though he's gone, he hasn't abandoned me. Sometimes I can reach inside myself and find him. Corny, I know. I've learned to associate the things in life that give me peace with him, so that when I go back to those things, he's there. Does that make any sense? I'm rambling....a writer's worst nightmare.