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Re: the longing namaste

Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 10, 2005, at 12:16:54

In reply to the longing, posted by namaste on February 9, 2005, at 18:36:35

Namaste,

I don't post here often, but wanted you to know that I can totally, completely, 100% relate to your post. I have a hard time leaving week after week and literally feel sick; I just get so sad. I feel like I will die without her. She encourages me to call when I need to and understands that these feelings are very old. I just wish I could pinpoint their origin as it is very frustrating for me to go through.

Also, just like you, I do feel better as the week goes on (usually). Then the cycle starts all over again. Sometimes I dread going because I'm finally feeling okay, and don't want to start the cycle again.

Fortunately I've actually been pretty open about this with her, and she understands, although I probably should tell her more so that she understands the intensity. One thing I've noticed, that I haven't told her, is that sometimes when I call her in an attempt to feel better, I actually end up feeling worse again. Just like being there. So while calling helps, it also feels self-defeating at times. I'm afraid to tell her that though because maybe she'll tell me to stop calling.

Just like you, I can't afford to go twice a week either. :( Lately, this is almost all we focus on. Don't know if it's getting in the way of the "other stuff", or might this actually be related to some of the "other stuff".

I'm surprised though at your T wanting you to just get over it. I really think you/we need to work through it... somehow.

And I have therapy tonight... sometimes I don't know if that's good or bad.

LGL

> Saw my T today and tonite i miss that comfort and listening and sorting things out. i miss the safety of her office. As the week goes on I feel better. i have abandonment issues but this homesickness for her is so painful and she even thinks it is getting in the way of my therapy and I should get over it.I am trying, but I am sad after session.

 

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poster:LittleGirlLost thread:455583
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