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Re: i'm crazy. lonelygal2

Posted by mair on February 7, 2005, at 17:18:16

In reply to Re: i'm crazy. mair, posted by lonelygal2 on February 7, 2005, at 16:36:19

You're in med school? No wonder you're so stressed.

I think mid-20's are a pretty typical age for getting hit with depression. It's pretty much when it hit me. The focus of so many years of school is striving to reach the next goal, and it's easy to just run out of gas, or in my case, to reach the point where you can't figure out what the next goal should be.

To tons of the people on this Board, you are a mere child who has more than 2 more lifetimes to look forward to. At your age, you get tons of "do-overs," and if you want them, lots of new careers. I'm sure there are people in your med school class who were much older when they decided to go to med school. I know a guy who was in his 40's when he went to med school.

Trying to become a doctor is such a long process that I assume it's handled best if you're not continually looking forward to when you're done. In fact, most docs I knew when I was younger seemed to be able to find no end of fellowships. It's not like you suspend your life until you're out. Your life is just different for awhile.

I'm a huge believer in taking time off from school somewhere along the way - time off between high school and college or between college and graduate school or in the middle of college or grad school. I never did and it's probably my biggest regret. I'm sure tons of med students drop out for a time if that's what you need to do to make yourself safe and sane. There is no shame, and in fact there may be alot of wisdom, in taking a break when you need one. It seems to me that you can probably do that now with less consequence than you might be able to later, as you become more entrenched in your career.

I don't think you're ever too old to want and need support of all kinds and probably never too old to wish you didn't have as many responsibilities as you have. My mother, in her late 70's, has told me that she has never been able to stop worrying about the dangers that potentially befall her children every time one of us travels. I know that every time I get the flu, I would dearly love to have my mother around taking care of me even if she does drive me nuts when I'm healthy. I also know that what feels most overwelming to me sometimes are all of the very adult responsibilities I have. Hang around here for awhile and you'll hear lots of woman, far older than you, wish they could deal with those responsibilities better and bemoan having feelings that they think only children should have. I honestly don't think that ever stops totally, particularly maybe for those of us in therapy.

What continues to worry me about you is your lack of a support system and what seems to be a notable degree of isolation. You're pretty classically in a situation where your perceptions can be easily skewed.

Think some about the worst things that can happen to you - if you go into a hospital, or if you drop out of school, or if you flunk out of school. In the grand scheme of a whole lifetime, none of these things are awful - they may set you back or just set you in a different direction. None of them has to keep you down, and obviously none of them is as awful as giving yourself no chance at all.

I'm blabbering too much and have probably made my point far too many times.

Please try to find a T and take care of yourself.

Mair


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