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Re: Who me? I don't have an *unconscious* mind! » Pfinstegg

Posted by daisym on January 27, 2005, at 21:13:38

In reply to Who me? I don't have an *unconscious* mind!, posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2005, at 18:04:56

I wonder what my anger would look like in art form? I'm just beginning to touch that place where there is outrage and anger. And it scares me. I begin to describe it in therapy and I force myself to be honest and before I know it, I've circled around back to the same spot. My therapist says I talk myself out of being angry. But when I let go, I surprise myself with what comes out. But it is so hard to let go.

I'm reminded often these days of your younger self telling your therapist that she would cut off his penis. Such brutal honesty. I've identified that there is a growing fear in me about being taken advantage of in this hugely vulnerable state, and I've told him, but I can't get concrete with it yet. He wants me to tell him what I imagine could happen but I just can't have that conversation. It is still more an "unconscious" fear...but very real.

You are doing such hard work. I'm so glad you've found the art to be helpful. And it does sound exhausting. Are you still keeping at it 5 times a week? Do you ever wonder how long it is going to take for all of the unconscious unhappiness to dissipate? I need a crystal ball...

Thank you for continuing to share your journey.

 

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