Posted by Dinah on January 26, 2005, at 5:11:58
In reply to Re: Whose responsibility is it? » Dinah, posted by daisym on January 26, 2005, at 0:24:41
I do know he cares about me - now.
But back before I knew, and perhaps (probably) back before he did care, his boundaries made me feel rejected and in some ways frantic.
I truly do feel happy for you that your therapist isn't like that. And I wish my therapist had been better at conveying caring earlier on. Or maybe better at caring...
Where my confusion at what I *think* lies is in my self knowledge. I love my therapist, but I'm not in love with him. If he'd been more like your therapist, I suspect I'd have toppled head over heels. I'm halfway head over heels in love with your therapist long distance. :) I think half the board is.
Now that's my theoretical answer.
My personal answer is that you're in pain, and he's offered to help you in a way that he sees you need help. He's a professional who knows his limits and wouldn't offer if he weren't willing. Take him up on whatever caring gestures he offers. Lean on him when standing alone gets too hard. That's what other people are there for.
I know you're invested in your spiritual life, so I'll chance a biblical reference. When I got married, I chose as my "Old Testament" reading the obscure verse about two being better than one. That when one falls, the other is there to pick him up, and that they can keep each other warm. Things like that. I confess to having been a bit worried about using the closing line in the verse about three being better than two in a wedding. :) But I self justified that the third meant God. However the whole thing seems quite apropos in this context. Let your therapist be there for you when you fall, and keep you warm when you're cold. And remember (as I have trouble doing sometimes) to try to extend your support network as well, because three *is* better than two. (Except of course in a marital relationship, unless the third party is God. lol.)
poster:Dinah
thread:447134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050122/msgs/447950.html