Posted by littleone on December 21, 2004, at 21:02:35
In reply to the sickness inside **trigger**-long, posted by B2Chica on December 21, 2004, at 19:03:02
> i REALLY feel i deserve these horrid anguished feelings
I know that just hearing me say this won't change anything, but I want to say it anyway. No one deserves those type of thoughts/feelings. Not even you. I can understand why you would feel that way and I hope your T-to-be can help with that.
>i haven't been cutting or purging and in my logical mind i think i'm transfering once more this time my depression being my method of SI.
It certainly sounds like you're punishing yourself, even without the cutting and purging. Unfortunately there are lots and lots of ways to hurt ourselves - physically and emotionally. It may be hard to be nice to yourself at the moment, but can you be nice to just one little tiny part of yourself as a first step? Like maybe paint your nails, or put some cream on that tough, wrinkly part of your elbow. And try liking that one tiny little part. Sometimes I like my elbows because they're a quirky part of my body. Did you know that you can squeeze that tough, wrinkly part as hard as you possibly can and you won't feel a thing. I think that's pretty neat.
> the last week in feb
I for one hope to see you posting in the first week of march - and for a long time thereafter too.
> i keep in a little corner of my mind a reminder of here. even if i think i have no one...there is babble. babble's here...
:)
> i feel guilty and shameful for dumping this whining and Self...whatever on you all.
If that's what you need or if that can help a little, then that's how babble can help. Getting it all out there can be a big help. Just imagine how boring it would be here if everyone just put their happy smiley faces forward and just talked about their happy good things.
:( (my contribution towards keeping babble interesting)
Please keep posting us B2Chica.
poster:littleone
thread:432607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/432661.html