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Re: Sex and Dependency - long

Posted by messadivoce on December 18, 2004, at 1:45:04

In reply to Sex and Dependency - long, posted by Daisym on December 17, 2004, at 11:42:05

Hi Daisy,

What an interesting question. I confessed my feelings of attraction to my T after a few months and the week after that particular session I was convinced that I was going to show up to my next session and he was going to tell me that I had been referred to someone else. When I asked him about it, he told me he had absolutely no intentions of doing that.

So we waded through all of my feelings very slowly. I think that I wanted him to approve of me as a sexual being as I had been raised to be ashamed of my sexuality. I also wanted my father's love, and he became a stand-in for my dad as the transference was so thick in that room.

He made it clear that he wanted me to feel safe and that he was never going to take advantage of my feelings for him. He did try to make me talk about how it would feel if we engaged in a sexual relationship. I had a lot of trouble with that even though my feelings toward him had first surfaced as a sexual impulse.

It sounds like your T understands that it's not *just* about sex, but about power and approval. Mine did too and that helped me to talk about it. Your T sounds a lot like mine actually, from the conversation you related in your post. I'm so glad you're in a safe place to talk about this. I hope you can trust him to lead you through. He sounds like a very special man, and not at all like the people who have hurt you in the past. There ARE men who can be trusted (and believe me, that's just as much for me as it is for you).


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poster:messadivoce thread:430810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/431128.html