Posted by alexandra_k on December 2, 2004, at 0:49:39
I sent my p-doc the following email:
'Hey. I am sorry about my last email. I have calmed down a bit now. I have been thinking about whether (all things considered) I would prefer to keep seeing you (and accept the situation) or not; and about whether it is best for me to keep seeing you or not, and well, I have decided that I would like to keep working with you if you aren't sick to death of me by now.
There are a lot of things that are hard for me though. When you are really late (mostly when I see you in hospital). When it takes you quite a while to organise a new script. When your pager or cell go off in sessions and you take those. When I arrive to find out that we aren't going to have a session after all. When you change session times so much. When there doesn't seem to me to be any progress on the Ashburn situation at all after however many months. That I can only see you fortnightly (if that). I try really hard to be understanding about all those things because I do understand that you are really busy. But emotionally it is hard anyway. And that last time really got to me a lot when you didn't even apologise and all that other stuff suddenly didn't seem so understandable anymore. I am also pretty stressed at the moment with ...[stuff].
None of that stuff that bugs me is going to change. I realise that. I have to accept it or lump it. But if I lump it then I suppose that it is likely that I'll spin out in the near future and then I'll have to see you as an inpatient at any rate.
So I am not happy about quite a number of things.
But after thinking hard about how I should handle this, I realise that our relationship is more important to me.
But yes, I will get mad at times.'
He said that they were all good points. That he had no excuse. And that he was sorry. WOW!!!
Then (and this was even more suprising to me)
He said he wouldn't bring his cell & pager any more.
He said we can move to weekly sessions (though he is going away for a month in Jan).
He said he had done the Ashburn report and I'll know within 2 weeks.
He gave my email address to the receptionist (trying to get a message to me by cell is verrrry unreliable)
He scheduled me later in the day (turns out most of his latenesses was when court ran over time)
And he has promised to give me prior notice of change in times.
And that I don't have to go up to hospital to see him anymore (which I really hate)
That he's faxed a script for a 3 month (instead of one month) supply to the pharmacy.
Golly gee, no wonder he's so busy :-)