Posted by lifeworthliving on November 24, 2004, at 23:56:11
In reply to Re: Different emphasis on attachment - pegusus » littleone, posted by pegasus on November 24, 2004, at 23:39:35
i don't post much but i read here almost daily. i hope nobody minds me jumping in when i can... attachment is of interest to me. i assume that my interest in, longing for, the wanting of, my therapist is about attachment? if so, it's driving me crazy. it used to be more intense so i'm almost grateful for the current level, however, i still find it distracting, but not so much that it affects functioning. i'm just always thinking about my therapist. i wish i could find more reading material on this subject. to "appear" so normal but to be so conflicted internally is unsettling to me. i'm always thinking that if anyone that knows me could see inside my therapists office during one of my appts that they would be appalled by what they see. i'm under a blanket, usually crying (very politely, and feeling very otherwordly. it seems so incongruent with my other life... the one where i take care of kids, go to school, socialize, etc. i wonder if everyone does this (feels like they are of two or more minds) or am i nuts? i am not very nice to myself to feeling so needy. i have the luxury of being very near my therapist and could see her daily if i wanted to (by walking past her office, etc) and it's all i can do to stay away. it isn't unusual for me to show up to be hug and i feel so completely ridiculous for doing/wanting this. anybody else?
is this attachment?