Posted by Daisym on November 4, 2004, at 22:45:04
In reply to Re: What I want, What she fears » daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on November 4, 2004, at 19:48:59
I'm so glad to hear you are feeling so much safer, all the parts of you. That is a huge step forward. Releasing the memories can be a little like taking your finger out of the damn, the initial pressure is off but things still trickle through. And then a log comes and blows an even bigger hole in your damn. This is when we need the therapist with the life boat. I'm sure you will figure out how to unfreeze your girl soon. Hold her close and warm her up.
Tonight I tried so hard not to cry...I've been doing that all week. I'm going 4x's a week right now with calls on Friday because he says, "I'm really worried about you." It feels like all hell has broken loose. We were able to talk about yesterday, how vulnerable I was and how important the letters are. And we talked about how I can protect little daisy's feelings when having sex. My homework is to write a letter to her telling her how I can protect her, and if I can, her telling me what she needs to feel safe.
Continuing the conversation was hard, I wanted to stay away from it. The anger is scary. But I think he learned from last week, because instead of leaving the silence he leaned forward and said, "don't pull away from me. Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking, even if it is to tell me to go away." I laughed and burst into tears. And told him he HAD to stop making me cry. So he told me a knock, knock therapist joke. Totally the right way to end such a long week.
I tried to get away without scheduling a call tomorrow but the younger parts of me were throwing a fit and he just encourages them. *sigh* I'm secretly relieved. We all need him right now.
poster:Daisym
thread:410840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/411938.html