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Re: I'm a broken record ****TRIGGER**** » daisym

Posted by crushedout on September 14, 2004, at 21:56:26

In reply to Re: I'm a broken record ****TRIGGER****, posted by daisym on September 14, 2004, at 11:40:10


Daisy,

I don't know what has changed. My new relationship's been strained lately, but I don't know if that's a cause or an effect of the transference resurfacing. I'm pretty sure that no relationship can work for me until I get over this transference (I actually *feel* like no relationship can ever work, but that just doesn't make sense. I mean, I feel like it can't work because I can never get over her.)

I think you're right that she fills some enormous void, but I don't see how I'm ever going to find another way to fill it. It's just not happening. I can't even figure out what it is.

Today's session made me feel hopeful. She said that she feels like we keep having the same conversation over and over again. I tell her that my feelings for her are a huge problem in my life. She asks me why I think they are. I convince her that they are, and then we never actually get to talking about the feelings. I end up dissociating, or bailing out somehow. Or maybe she bails out. I don't know.

I do often feel like, as gg said, that's she's failing me -- this just shouldn't be going on that long. What's her name -- the author of "In Session" says that if an erotic transference lasts a long time, the T must be doing something to encourage it. I often wonder if that's true. But then she convinces me it's not.


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