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Re: 4 more days.....feels like a year » shrinking violet

Posted by crazymaisie on August 30, 2004, at 23:34:36

In reply to Re: 4 more days.....feels like a year » crazymaisie, posted by shrinking violet on August 30, 2004, at 12:45:41

hi sv

i know i've said this before but your relationship with your t sounds so like mine sometimes. a while back, something like you're describing came up between us, too. she said something like 'i wish i could have been there for you when you were a kid'. it brought up all that longing for a proper mother, not the monstrous sort of person i was given. i sort threw myself into it for a while, found out about transference, decided to label it maternal transference and let myself feel some of it. but it never really took off for me. she encouraged those feelings, but i don't think they were ever all that real. i finally had to admit that i did want some kind of maternal quality to our relationship and that i liked it to a certain extent, but i wasn't looking at her as a mother replacement or anything like that. i prefer having a more equal kind of footing. that said, when i was feeling that way (wanting to be looked after) it was pretty intense at times, and that was when the week between sessions seemed longest. but i'm glad i did let myself feel it, because i have been able to try that out and discard most of it and i feel our relationship is more real for me now.

i hope the days pass by so fast for you

maisie


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