Posted by Dinah on August 30, 2004, at 17:47:36
In reply to Needing, posted by daisym on August 30, 2004, at 14:37:42
> Haven't you been told that you are incapable of forming attachments? ... So perhaps a part of you is worried that your lessening need for him means these things might be true.
I think it *is* true about the me he knew then. At least a lot true if not all true. But it's not true of the me that's scared to death, and I know it.
>
> There is nothing wrong with needing someone who helps you feel secure and taken care of. I think we all need someone like that. I understand when we look at it from our adult perspectives that we want to be self-sufficient. But even if you were "grown up" all the way...you would still have a human need to be heard and understood...all parts of you...and this is what your therapist provides for you.
>
> I fight with myself constantly about this fear of needing my therapist...and not needing him. To give up what I just found seems a cruel thing to ask. But to not be working towards giving it up seems self-indulgent and immature. *sigh*
>Yes! It does seem cruel! I can honestly say that I wouldn't cave in to the demands and anger and "rationality" of doing what I should do. Not about this. But I don't seem to need to work towards giving it up. Working towards *not* giving it up doesn't even seem to help. :(((((
It is just happening. I'm not trying. It's just happening. And it's hard to fight that. And the reasons it might just be happening are scary as heck. I *liked* being a daughter. I didn't like growing up and getting married and being expected to be a grownup in the real world. I *like* needing my therapist. Not needing him seems to imply all sorts of things I'd rather not think about.
Daisy. I want to thank you for the perfect timing of your post. I went to my last session in super rational mode, and I didn't want to go to tomorrow's session the same way.
poster:Dinah
thread:382174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/384275.html