Posted by Larry Hoover on August 30, 2004, at 8:56:33
In reply to Loving yourself and Narcissm, where's the diffrenc, posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 23:37:31
> I've read in posts many times you just need to love yourself, to get you anywhere.
>
> I've heard of Narcisssm, excessive love of one's self. Well at times, when i feel insecure, ill get this feel of lust over myself, no not like that, just where i start feeling Egotistical, and put up a frount as a hotshot. It works for a while, but its like a inflation, say like a ballon, that blows up and goes back down, basically thats my confidence. I feel worthless when there's no stimulation. My imainary companion is helping me with TRue confidence, but i got to get rid of this, fake conficnce that really ahs bad side effects.
>
> Am i a Narcissist?
>
> I need advice.
>
> MattYou need some definitions, first. Narcissism is a stable personality charactistic. It's not something that comes out to defend you, under trying circumstances. It's the "normal" way you are. By definition, it interferes with the quality of your life. Here is the textbook definition:
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
You need five or more of these traits, present all the time (not just when your defenses are active).Your imaginary companion *is* you. Your self-image doesn't match up to the companion, yet. The more you can behave as you imagine you can behave, the more you will come to resemble your imaginary companion. Along the way, you will learn from experience what aspects of your imaginary companion are worthy of emulation. I suspect there may be a couple traits you'll let go, once you gain some experience.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:383947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/384060.html