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emotion as a thing of beauty » Dinah

Posted by shortelise on August 28, 2004, at 20:09:07

In reply to Re: mourning in therapy, posted by Dinah on August 28, 2004, at 13:26:08

I have done some howling weeping in the past day because of seeing him less. I discovered it would be a month between appointments because of holidays.

I am fine, I feel better, my life is fairly balanced, but then I am attached to my psychiatrist as though he were the only thing holding me to this earthy realm. And he is not. I have friends, family, colleagues, etc. A good life.

But my gut just doesn't get it. I'd like to sit on his lap and view the world from there, always.

I went from every week to every two weeks because I felt like a complete idiot if I didn't. I was afraid he'd drop the hammer, tell me, ok, you can't come to see me next week, and that would have devastated me. I didn't realize how big a part of lessening my appointments that was until just now. I think I'd like to tell him about it.

He sits and listens to me, watches me cry, once said that pure emotion is beautiful - then he jumped as he seemed to think from my reaction that I thought he'd said I was beautiful - which I am not, and I looked at him as I did when he said this beacuse I was astonished that anyone could imagine crying a beautiful thing. But then, to see emotion as a thing of beauty would be a sensible thing for a shrink to do.

What someone wrote above about checking back with him - it makes sense. Watch an emotionaly healthy two or three year old - he runs off, but keeps an eye on Mommy, comes back from time to time, just to make sure. That's what I'm supposed to do, right?

I am rambling. GOod luck at reducing your sessions.

ShortE


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