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Dontcha ever learn? » Dinah

Posted by Racer on August 25, 2004, at 12:25:03

In reply to Re: Whoohoo! I get to give back now! (long -- !! ), posted by Dinah on August 25, 2004, at 9:11:29

> I'm glad you have a hopeful experience there, Racer. You're overdue for one.
>
> Do you feel like this doc will be a good match?


LoL! That made me laugh, for some reason. I guess because I do feel so much that I'm *wrong* about everything (big topic in therapy this morning), that I second guess myself and talk myself onto both sides of every issue.

I think the easiest answer is, "The jury is still out on that one..."

The real answer? I think I'm so frightened by what's gone on, that it's like an allergy now: I've been sensitized to the allergen (pdocs), so my psychological immune system over reacts to small doses. That's certainly a lot of what I think is going on right now, but -- big one -- I did not sleep at all last night, much too agitated, and I get so speedy when that happens that I don't trust my opinions all that well? Over all, though, I think there are enough positives -- even if this guy *ain't* the Big Magoo for me -- that it probably outweighs everything short of outright physical abuse on his part, you know? I made it to the appointment -- honestly, I *think* that alone is positive enough almost to justify the expense. And, my husband is getting the prescription tonight after work, so I'll start a new drug tomorrow -- if the first wasn't enough, the fact that I'm even willing to try anything without literally having to have it pushed down my throat probably pushes it over the top.

Dinah, I think I'm still much too anxious/agitated/frightened/crazy to be able to say that, yes, I do think this guy is probably a better fit. I'm not sure if that would be true, and am trying to work it out, but I'm certain so far that we can call him Dr Maybe for a while, if not Dr It.

(OK, I need a good game -- what shall we call this guy? *Very* academic professional background, lots of university and inpatient stuff on his CV, advanced degrees and experience in ECT, doesn't believe in hospitalizing patients much -- says it gets to be too easy for some doctors, and I think I agree in principle, although I suspect there's more to that story -- *says* (<< suspicious? Moi?) he believes in general scientific principles that I believe in like not adding three new meds at once, seems like a nice likeable guy -- made me laugh a bit by saying something about "Prozac -- the Great Anti-Obesity Drug from the pre-marketing studies. Yeah, and it is -- for the first two months, after that it turns around." At least he really seems to *get* that part as an issue -- and he did say that he attempts to deal with it. What are we gonna call him?)

(And yes -- I did come a little close to calling Dr EyeCandy by that name in the eval. Just close enough to make me slightly tense... Do you ever think about how Bubba would feel to learn his name? In my current, sleep deprived idiocy, I'm getting a certain malicious glee from my guess at how Dr EyeCandy would react to being called that.)


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poster:Racer thread:381925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/382154.html