Posted by daisym on August 5, 2004, at 18:49:13
In reply to My sis - and an explanation, posted by AuntieMel on August 5, 2004, at 9:53:57
I'm glad to hear your sister is doing well. These things can be stressful so make sure you are taking care of yourself too.
I wanted to respond to your thoughts about Fires and your feelings. I'm not trying to persuade you to stay but it makes me sad that this issue continues to drive people away or makes people cautious about participating here.
I've been a part of babble for 9 or 10 months. I found this site when my own experiences in therapy were overwhelming and I thought the process of getting better was making me "nuts." It was such a relief to have folks here say, "no, that is normal." Shared experiences, shared sadness and shared smiles made this a really great place to be. We have had some great threads (therapist cookies!) and I know that folks here have help me make it through some really really bad days. We have disagreed and taken each other to task for things. (Ask KK about the discussions regarding her therapist at one point.)
So it was really jarring to have someone show up who could cause so much discord. I still don't get why someone who doesn't believe in therapy or in some of the mental health issues being discussed, would WANT to hang out here. Unless they thought they needed to save us from the mental health community, what could possibly be the motive? I'll never know the answer to that. And, a poster's motives are not really my business anyway.
My way of handling all of it was to just stop reading or posting to threads that I found upsetting. As a reasonably intelligent adult, this seemed a good choice for me. After all, we mark some threads as "possible triggers" don't we? That way people can avoid them if they are feeling fragile.
What I don't get now is why there seems to be this feeling that the wagons were circled unfairly...it seems that Fires has become the "victim" in this whole mess, instead of a willing participant. I will not presume to know the real tone or intention of his posts. There are mixed feelings about that. But no one seems to disagree that they "could be" offensive or taken wrong.
Ultimately I will offer this. I think Babble is a place to ask for what you need (support, advice, help, even a hug); give what you can (support, advice, experiences, hugs) and leave what doesn't fit for you. Despite the general tone of support typical of this board, those that want to challenge the beliefs held here are free to do so, but hopefully not in a way that is confrontational or hostile, and hopefully they won't do it within a thread that wasn't intended to illicit that type of response. And those that don't want to debate an issue are free to not respond to a thread that sets up a challenge.
I've said it before. It makes me sad that people who have so much to offer feel they need to leave or feel driven away by this mess. It wasn't always like this.