Posted by starlight on July 26, 2004, at 13:21:22
In reply to Re: I'm in love with my therapist, posted by Damiana on July 24, 2004, at 22:07:17
One thing to think about in this situation, (although I personally think that therapists don't handle this situation well at all, especially in your case!) is that a lot of women have learned to communicate and deal with men from a sexual point of view. And alot of us do it without being aware of our behavior. We accept it as normal coping, mainly because our society condones it. It's all over TV, the movies, and is mainly the way that men will give us attention. Now, if the trauma you experienced early on had to do with - say not getting enough attention from your father - you might relate to men better that way in order to get attention. I think it's a subconcious thing. At least it was for me. I tended to flirt and relate from a more sexual point of view, until I read my psychiatric records and saw that he had written that in his notes.
Now, what pisses me off is that a therapist will put that in your notes, but not talk to the patient head on about it. It makes more sense to me to bring it to the patients attention as it's likely that she's not very aware that she's doing it. Once I realized that yes, I tended to do that, it allowed me to change my behavior. I think it's more appropriate to try and relate more as if you were a sister, or from a more neutral point of view. But he should have just brought it up that way instead of yelling at you. If I were yelled at by my therapist that would absolutely be my last visit. And, I would tell him that it was inappropriate behavior.