Posted by Joslynn on July 18, 2004, at 19:43:40
In reply to Re: Transference pain never ends, posted by Rigby on July 17, 2004, at 17:37:12
In the past, I have struggled with bad crushes on unattainable people (they weren't unattainable because they were therapists, but because they were emotionally unhealthy or addicts etc.). If anyone else has struggle with this too, I would recommend you research "love addction" on the net. Just type it into google. I do think that in many ways I had some additive elements when it came to the obsessive crushes. Not saying anyone else does...only you can assess that. But once I started looking at the situations as a psycholgoical addiction I was powerless over, it became easier to recognize the potential of the next one when it came along and try to prevent it. You can use a 12-step model to help you. I was already going to 12-step programs for ACOA issues, so I used that along with reading a lot of self-help books on love and romance addiction.
For me, treating it as an addiction that I was powerless over without a higher power's help made it easier and less insidious somehow. Now I do not get those obsessions, thank God, but I had to get severely depressed before I started realizing their effect on my life.
poster:Joslynn
thread:365838
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/367511.html