Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Having Your Pain Devalued

Posted by tabitha on July 9, 2004, at 4:52:15

In reply to Having Your Pain Devalued, posted by Elle2021 on July 9, 2004, at 2:41:03

Sometimes it helps me to see that they actually did mean well, even though I ended up getting hurt. Some people think that saying something like 'it wasn't that bad' will cheer you up, so they're intending to try to relieve your pain, but they don't know that those kind of statements can hurt. It also might help to clarify it with them, if you feel safe doing so. You could tell them how you felt when you heard what they said, and say what you took it to mean, like for example, you heard it as them saying your pain wasn't real, or didn't matter to them. Then they have a chance to clarify if that's what they really meant.

When I'm hurt enough I tend to not want to believe people, so sometimes I need to wait until I've calmed down a bit, or else I'll just blame them and won't believe their explanation anyway.

But it's really hard for me to tell someone I'm hurt, especially when I'm thinking they don't care. I'm like why should I make myself even more vulnerable after they've already hurt me? So if I don't think there's at least a chance of getting a good response, I won't bring it up with them. I'll just withdraw and avoid them. I'm trying to get better at taking such risks.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:tabitha thread:364283