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good girl/ bad girl ....Antigua...EMDR

Posted by Jai Narayan on May 29, 2004, at 20:27:34

In reply to Re: Antigua - EMDR experience?, posted by Jai Narayan on May 29, 2004, at 20:00:45

I saw your post above and responded up there but decided to bring it down here. I wish you the best in your EMDR work. There is a better life...I know I am living it.
Jai Narayan

Dear antigua,
When I turned 16 and after a horrible fight with my mother, I saw myself as black and white. One side was good one side bad. I became contrary. I started cutting and drinking and doing everything that was bad.
Before that I was the good girl and did everything the best I could but was hurting inside.
The fight my mother and I had drove me over the edge. She ended up in the hospital and I went under.
It has taken me years to liberate the become gray....white and black all mixed together. Good, bad and all the places in between. I am whole now and sometimes I feel bad about how I handled something but I am not the BAD PERSON I would have been. I no longer have to punish myself for anything....I am free.
I feel like someone who has just stepped out of a jail.
"Free at at last....God almighty, free at last"
to quote Martin L. King who is one of my favorite people.




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