Posted by DaisyM on May 21, 2004, at 15:10:31
In reply to Chickened out, posted by Aphrodite on May 20, 2004, at 19:15:00
I think you did wonderfully well. And I would call and ask for what you want. You can't get it any other way.
It seems from some of your posts that the issues you might want to get into are around abuse. Forgive me if you've already said so, I'm a little foggy today.
My experience has been this -- you DO get emotionally flooded and it IS really hard. Part of the conversation has to be what is it he is willing to do with you if/when this happens. I need lots of check in and lots of reassurance when I'm in that part of the cycle. Like right now. Talking about the specific incidences invariably frees my younger self to talk and feel. She hurts, is very frightened and really really needs our Therapist. I'm astonished at how split I can be at these times. Almost literally. My therapist talks to "her" and to "me" all the while knowing I want to just be one person. So it is important to know what he can/will do and what other supports you have in your life.
All the books talk about the crisis phase. I was sure I was together enough that I wouldn't go through it. I was so wrong. Some days I feel like my whole world is coming apart. But I know if I wasn't doing this work now, I'd be coming apart anyway.
So don't be afraid to do it. Just ask all those questions and be prepared to need your Therapist more. And post, lots and lots. There are lots of people here who *know* what you are going through and can help.