Posted by shadows721 on May 20, 2004, at 22:39:30
In reply to My marriage and my therapist, posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2004, at 19:25:24
I think it's normal to have fantasies. Most marriages go through ups and downs and in those downs the fantasies may arise. Usually, that "other" person represents the things that are lacking in our current relationship like - communication and sharing. I hear it all the time - he or she doesn't do this or that, but
the "other" does. If I were dwelling so much on someone else, I would ask why. What do they really represent? What is it that really attracts me about them? (Most relationship books point that we are attracted to folks that have characteristics of people in our childhood.) Who do they represent to me? Am I attracted to them, because they are unavailable or a challenge? What is it that I feel I need from this person?
How would you act with this person? Can you act like that with your husband? If so, it may help change the relationship in a positive manner. You may see your husband in a new light and he may see the "other" woman in you.