Posted by B2chica on May 19, 2004, at 10:14:02
In reply to Re: shared experiences....thanx » B2chica, posted by Angel Girl on May 18, 2004, at 4:23:38
I'm sorry to hear you're not working right now, but maybe this is a good change for you. Maybe this will allow you to focus on you for a while.
-i Totally understand about the "snap out of it" comments. At first, even my husband was like that-expecially with the anxiety and mania.
-i too avoid talking about my issues at work, i only do with two people but i'm stopping that cuz i feel that i'm always focusing on Me and i don't want to become one of THOSE people.
-i understand about the line up of Meds! wow do those suckers get expensive.
-I've had three (so-called) best girl-friends in my life, all three have betrayed me so badly that the things that have happened are the primary reasons i'm in therapy today. Things that give me nightmares, things that cut your very soul. And that is why i have Trust (and other) issues with women. and why even growing up i have primarily male friends.
So i understand and i am truly sorry that girl hurt you so deeply.
-but do remember, their not all made from the same mold, and you can't experience life without having a few important people in your life (IRL). But boy can that revolving door hurt.
-Best of luck finding a therapist with a good fit. But you really need to find one that you can really "click" with.
and Good plan to ask for strategies ahead of time! good for you!
-and please don't worry so much about your families judgement on how you are living, it seems like that really hurts you how they feel. If you need to be like a hermit for now then that's that. And hopefully in time, with help. that will change.
-and i don't know that i LOVE being depressed, or manic. But i've reached a point in my life (which has taken a LONG, LONG time where i love who i am. Flaws and all, i accept me. Luckily i came to this point about a year before my Dx and explosion of emotions. and i REFUSE to let them take that away from me. and in all Honesty, i think there's a little (or a lot) of fear driving behind that. if i let that feeling go-i know i will die. And there's too much exploring i have left to do. if i let myself go down that path there will be no turning back. I actually hate the mania more than the depression. I can't stand the mania, but either way neither last terribly long, so i think that helps. I've read that there are many BP that suffer from depression like 75% of the time. This must be horrible. I'm sorry you feel so much pain. But that also makes me think that maybe you should go to another pdoc and have them take another look at the meds you are on. Please, for yourself. You shouldn't have to have this much ache.
-i do journal, and that does help but...i still need more. In time...in time...
-you really should journal, it took me a while to get comfortable with this but it's worth it.
>>It's like I can feel their pain, like it's mine. It tears me apart to see others suffer. I can't stand it. I'll even cry for them, I totally internalize it.
-this is the worst, i'm glad you understand. It's the worst i think for me when i'm driving.it's like people concentrate more on themselves and their problems when their driving-cuz i'll catch a glimpse into their eyes and i have these rush of feelings, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes happy or confused...you name it, and it just sucks you from the inside out.