Posted by LG04 on May 13, 2004, at 11:07:07
In reply to Re: A question my T. asked me about her vacation...., posted by lifeworthliving on May 12, 2004, at 23:52:13
I'm glad you all enjoyed the sock story. I wore them to therapy today and she noticed and said, "Nice taste in socks!" I am going away this weekend and am anxious about it, so I plan to wear them each day I'm away. It's really a good "transitional" object for me and something I never would have thought of had it not happened naturally. She also gave me her sweater off her back along with her socks, and I wore it and slept in it while in the hospital, but I gave that back to her...nice of me, huh?
Thank you vwoolf for asking about my decision to stay in Israel or return to America. It is not all in my control...I am waiting for an answer from the organization that sponsored my being here to see under what conditions they'll let me stay. I believe I will stay if they make it okay for me. It's not easy here because my main support base is in the States. But I am going home for the summer and I think that will recharge my batteries and give me the strength to come back and continue the healing work I am doing. I am not ready to leave my therapist (it's not the only reason for staying but it's the biggest one). We have an amazing relationship and I am just not ready to let it/her go.
My hospitalization was partially due to how paralyzed I've been feeling trying to make this decision and the panic of leaving my therapist...but I also understand now that it was partially due to a new abuse memory which surfaced two days after I left the hospital. I am an incest survivor and it's been a long time since I've "birthed" a new memory...I forgot how intense the process is. I feel better since having the memory and talking about it in therapy though it is a particularly horrible one and continues to haunt me. I will need to keep processing about it.