Posted by Rigby on April 23, 2004, at 11:12:00
In reply to Re: I told Ellen about the consultation today » Miss Honeychurch, posted by crushedout on April 23, 2004, at 10:48:48
I kinda think you're down the rabbit hole with your therapist. And seeing someone else won't stop the feelings of longing you have for her. Some things can't be unseen and other things can't be unfelt. We're not light switches.
I think you should stay with "Ellen" and work through it simply because even if you go to another therapist you're *still* going to be in pain about the first one anyway and frankly it doesn't sound like realistically you're ready to rip yourself away from this person you're so in love with (who would?)
But I think if you stay with your therapist you might try to (easier said than done) take a deeeeep breath and decide to Go With The Program which is do what she asks you do to: tell her specifically how you feel about her--force yourself to. **Let her help you.**
She sounds on track. Talking specifically about how you feel about her is right on. I think it'll make you feel worlds better and calmer and it'll pull the intensity out of it. If intensity and drama and longing and sadness are things you don't want to let go of than that's an addiction like anything else and you gotta get to the root of that too. Sometimes when you stop all the drama there's nothing there but an endless silence and loneliness--it takes guts to face that too.
Who cares if she said she was "sad" or mad or whatever. Eff that. Try and make this about you and not her. This is ****your**** therapy gosh darn it!!!!
And yeah, I think we can get alot out of exploring the "relationship" with our therapists but I think at some point with months of drama it's like: enough already. It can be overdone too to the point where this is nothing *but* the relationship with the therapist! And for me it's like--there's this 50 minutes/week talk thing and 24/7 drama around 50 minutes! Talk about the tail wagging the dog.
Anyway, it sounds like a lot of emotional turmoil. Imagine what it might feel like if things settle down. Will that be a good thing?
poster:Rigby
thread:338881
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339139.html