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Really want to know the truth?

Posted by lonelygirl on March 20, 2004, at 21:02:16

In reply to Re: Another Writing Assignment - Wishes, posted by gardenergirl on March 20, 2004, at 18:58:13

I think my wish would be to know the truth about what he really thinks of me... except that I have a feeling it would be bad. I just imagine him sitting there thinking, "God, she's annoying! I wish she would stop coming. I have to sit here with my 'calm demeanor,' looking at her fat, ugly face for a whole hour, when all I really want to do is reach over and smack her. I can see why she doesn't have any friends -- who does she think could possibly like someone like her? She is the most worthless, lazy piece of $#!& I have ever had the displeasure of meeting in my entire life! I hope she doesn't have a crush on me, because that would just make me puke."

It drives me crazy not to know what he is really thinking. I know that when he is nice to me, it's just a carefully planned set of mind tricks to make me trust him or something. Even if he really does hate me, it's not like he could come right out and say it, so instead, he just sits there with his calm demeanor, silently hating me, while I, like the idiot I am, fall for his tricks and love him. The problem is, I so enjoy his being nice to me, but at the same time, I sort of wish that he would just come right out and say the mean stuff to me, just so I finally KNOW the truth. Then I would get mad at him and not feel attached to him any more, and I think (strangely) I would feel a lot better.




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